Don’t Dim Your Shine! (Excerpt from Phenomenal Woman Gurl That’s U!)
When I was a little girl, one of the songs that we grew up on at Mount Olive Missionary Baptist Church during all of my childhood, was “this little light of mine”. You know it well, this little light of mine, im gonna let it shine. When I sang it I didn't understand what kind of light they were talking about, but it was a cute song and we liked it.
As I continued to mature and even today I know exactly what they were talking about. I'm reminded of a story about a time when my shine or my light attracted my first hater - or as we called them back in the day, a bully. In the third grade, for a period of about two months, I had a bully. She shall remain nameless because why would I give her credit at this point. She saw my shine. Every day for almost 2 months she terrorized me. I would have to bring her my milk money. She would threaten to beat me up, and just be generally mean whenever she could. It really bothered me. It really perplexed me. All I had were friends and people who loved me. Why this girl hated me was a mystery. One day my teacher, Mrs. Cecelia Irvin, asked me to pass out some papers, as she often did. As I jumped up to comply with her request as one of her favorites I noticed that my bully - lets just call her Bailey for the purposes of my story - was looking at me sideways as usual. In that moment I got an idea. I asked Mrs Irvin if Bailey could help me. She agreed and Bailey jumped up beaming with joy to help pass out the papers. At the end of our task, I said “Wow! Bailey was a lot faster than me, wasn’t she Mrs. Irvin?” Mrs. Irving agreed and said, “great job Bailey.” And we sat down. Bailey turned around and smiled at me for the first time in two months. You see, my shine in that classroom was getting to Bailey. I was the little administrator always helping my beloved teacher Mrs Irvin. The only way Bailey knew how to deal with her lack of shine was to terrorize me. Bailey and I never became good friends or anything, but that was the last day she took my milk money. That day when I shared my shine with her, Mrs. Irvin started calling on her to help her out sometimes as well; and just like that, it was over. Side note, my uncle started giving me extra milk money so I had enough for both me and Bailey. He just thought I was helping out a friend. As a third grader, I didn't know anything about my shine but Bailey did; its what she coveted. Mrs Irvin did; its what she bragged about to other students. But I really didn’t.
That light, that shine, that “IT” factor - follows you all the days of your life. Your SHINE is that Special Happening Inside Nobody Else! That shine on the inside is the thing that will draw people to you the rest of your life. That “IT” factor that you don't understand when it happens especially on the days when you weren't even trying to look good and someone walks up to you and says “you look so pretty today”, and you look bewildered! “Why today, really today? I didn't even take a selfie today before I left the house. I didn't even try that hard today. But okay!” It's those days when you were caught showing your shine. People may walk up to you and comment on some physical aspect about you because that's what drew them to you, but in all actuality that person noticed something that was intangible about you. That person noticed something that was unreachable. That person was drawn to your SHINE. There is something to be said about a woman who understands her worth and her purpose. There is something to be said about a phenomenal woman who understands her shine.
In this book, I will use the backdrop of the poem by Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” to explore topics that every woman can see themselves either struggling or thriving with. I will attempt to encourage you with each line. In fact, I was struggling with the first line of this poem as a basis. “Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.” In my gathering of notes and doodling of ideas, I didn't want to start the book talking about looks, but then I had the “aha moment” about my SHINE and your SHINE. It occured to me that this first line is not about physical appearance. In life, it’s rarely about the outward appearance. It really has to do with our shine. On the days I try little harder with my Mary Kay application of my makeup; or my selection of garb for the day; or when my curls are popping just right on my head, that's all well and good, but its extra. Regardless of how well I dress up the outside, it’s the inside that’s going to either shine or diminish everything that I did on the outside. I didn't always understand it, but I get it now.
As women, I believe the sooner we understand the inside...the sooner we understand the wonderfully and fearfully...the sooner we get what the “IT” factor is all about..the better. Anything great about you, anything great about me, was pre-planned by God. Before anyone knew who Dagne was; before anyone knew who you were - God had already laid out a plan and a purpose for your life. He put the shine on the inside from day one. He put the wonderfully and fearfully on the inside from day one. The moment that his impartation of the shine and your acceptance and embrace of the shine met that's when “phenomenal” took place. My goal in this book is to help you get to your phenomenal. But it starts with embracing your shine. Your shine is your shine. My shine is my shine. The moment we embrace our shine, accept the wonderfully and fearfully, and stop coveting someone else’s shine, that's the day phenomenal takes place. There is more, however, once you recognize it in you, then honor it in another sister!
I asked several other Phenomenal Women to give me a snippet of their SHINE to encourage others. Each one later told me writing those couple of paragraphs from reflecting on a line in the poem was theraputic for them. I thank God for them since it’s no way I could effectively encourage all women with this concept without reach beyond my own narrow thoughts. Thank you to my sisters (detailed in the appendix with their bio briefs) for reaching inside your SHINE connecting with my SHINE and together illuminating some much needed light in some areas of darkness and discouragement. It is my prayer you find many truths to combat any lie that may be tearing you down to build you up! Find your shine my sister, while reading this book! Don’t linger in those areas of disappointment. You have too much Special Happening In Nobody Else! Phenomenal woman, gUrl that's U!
